


A Light That Never Goes Out

by glowingivy



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-16 09:09:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29451330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glowingivy/pseuds/glowingivy
Summary: Dealing with the aftermath of failed relationships, Bella seeks to rebuild her life through therapy and self-discovery. Set in a post-New Moon, AU.
Relationships: Edward Cullen/Bella Swan
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	1. Chapter 1

March 2006 

As I stepped onto the stone precipice, the wind started whipping my hair all around my face. It was just starting to rain, each drop soaking into my skin and matting down my hair. I didn’t bother to pull my wet hair off of my face, and stepped closer to the edge. The drop down made my breath catch - it hadn’t seemed this far down from the road or when I had seen the “boys” cliff dive. 

Cliff diving. 

I reminded myself that was why I had made this climb - to hear  _ that _ voice again. Jacob had promised to take me, asking me to wait for him so we could jump together. If I was being honest with myself, looking down into the crashing waves, I preferred to do this alone - no longer certain I cared if I re-emerged from the water. The dull, rhythmic thunder of the waves crashing into the shore provided a soothing background noise for me to process these thoughts. Was it my initial intention to stay underneath the water? No, however, the thought of eternal silence and numbness was more attractive than the alternative - a life without him. Certainly my absence would hurt Charlie, but he was settled into a life before me and could recover after. I thought of Renee - she had Phil to take care of her and provide comfort. My friends - if I could call them that anymore after my lack of involvement - would carry on just like they have been. That left Jacob. We were close and I knew he was starting to develop feelings for me that I couldn’t return. He could also imprint on somebody else, which would bring me right back to this position - alone and in pain. I stepped closer to the edge, sneakers squishing with the rain, and closed my eyes.

“Bella! What are you doing!?”

The voice that shouted out was not the crushed velvet I expected, but just as disapproving. I turned around to see Leah emerging from the trees. 

“Step back, what are you thinking?”

“What’s going on? Why are you here? Where’s Jacob -” 

“They got her. They killed Victoria, he sent me to find you. Are you out of your mind? Why are you up here?” She shouted over the rain, which was now coming down twice as hard. My hands started to shake, and my body felt heavy. Could the threat of Victoria really be over? I took several steps closer to Leah who had stopped under the dark canopy of trees. 

“Let’s go.”


	2. A Million Pieces

May 2011 

Date night. I was surprised that Jacob had requested to go out for dinner. There was no special occasion coming to mind, but I acquiesced. Sitting at my desk, I buckled high heels onto my feet, trusting the strap to keep them on. Life has been quiet recently. I fastened on a necklace, and looked at my reflection in the mirror. I pulled my hair to lay behind my shoulders, and checked my makeup. I pushed at the dark eyeliner with my pinky to slightly smudge it, and added a touch of lipgloss. Satisfied, I opened my bedroom door, which faced Charlie’s room. I kept his door closed ever since he had passed away.

Congestive heart failure was the cause, revealed too late for anything but hospice care. We had spent his final months sharing quiet moments fishing and watching sports. I don’t think he would have had it any other way, and a small part of me will forever wonder if discovering his condition too late to worry about was how he preferred it. Charlie always had the remarkable ability to accept life’s lemons peacefully. Offering a small smile to the door, I grabbed my purse and left the house into the night. 

The rain in Forks was unforgiving, though now I was able to navigate it in my small sedan instead of my truck. We were going to a restaurant in Port Angeles. More surprising than a “date night” was the choice to have date night an hour away from home. A change of pace would be nice, and I definitely wouldn’t mind having a meal that I didn’t need to prepare. Jacob had sent me the address for an upscale steakhouse. I didn’t mind the drive, using it to reflect on my relationship with Jacob.  
We had grown close during my final year in high school, but drifted when I moved to Florida for college. The University of North Florida had been Renee’s idea, which had been fully supported by Charlie. I graduated in the typical four years with most of my peers, majoring in English with a literature minor. Shortly after graduating, we discovered Charlie’s congestive heart failure and I returned to Forks. My relationship with Jacob fell back into an easy-going pattern of walks along the beach in La Push, spending time with Billy and Charlie, and bonfires with the pack. I don’t know that I could have handled Charlie’s death without Jacob steadfastly by my side, holding me while I cried and arranged funeral plans, and laying silently with me in bed. Our physical relationship remained at a respectable PG-13 level, which was one hundred percent my preference - I would liken kissing Jacob to walking into the sun after being in a cold building. It felt lovely and warmed my body, though at the same time it wasn’t the same as kissing - no. No need to continue that line of thought.  
  
I glanced briefly at the dashboard clock as I pulled up to the restaurant. Right on time. I parked, and felt a smile break out on my face as I saw Jacob standing at the front doors. I caught his eyes and he smiled back, running over to open my door.  
  
“Why, hello gorgeous!”  
  
“Jake, you cleaned up really nice!” He was wearing jeans paired with a fitted blue button-down top, highlighting his muscles in all of the right places. He grabbed my hand and we walked into the restaurant. “What made you decide to go out tonight?” 

He shrugged, “Why not? I thought we both deserve a special night out, and there’s no time like the present.” 

I raised my eyebrows in response, but he wasn’t looking. He held open the door and I stepped in. The restaurant was dimly lit, featuring small candle-lit lanterns on each table. I could see a handful of couples scattered throughout the restaurant, huddled over dinner plates, intimately conversing. He spoke briefly to the hostess, and she led us to a corner table by a wall-length window. The view from the window was beautiful, close enough to the waterfront where you could see the boats docked for the night. Jacob smiled from across the table, opening his menu, “I thought you’d like it. Although I don’t think it’s as good as what I’m looking at.” I felt a blush slowly crawl up my neck, heating my face.  
  
Luckily, the waitress approached to take our drink orders. Jacob confidently ordered two glasses of red wine and our entrees, and she left to put in the order. I was a little surprised that he ordered for me, but I couldn’t find it in myself to be truly bothered.  
  
“I want us to just have fun tonight, so if we get a little tipsy, I booked a hotel about five minutes away.” He reached across the table to grab my hand.  
  
“Wow, Jacob,” I squeezed his hand while trying to collect my thoughts, “that is really thoughtful, thank you. You didn’t have to do that. ”  
  
“I wanted to though. I feel like we don’t get out often, and I want tonight to be great.”  
  
“And it will be. Maybe after dinner we can walk down by the water.” I offered with a smile. He agreed, and the waitress brought the wine. I raised my glass,  
  
“Here’s to a fun night!”  
Glasses clinked, and I swirled the wine around the glass before taking a sip. Jacob immediately swallowed at least two mouthfuls. I took a small sip, and tried to decipher the different flavors. Renee had pulled me along to several wineries shortly after I turned 21, but I honestly could never figure out how to “taste” the wine like everyone else could, picking out notes and discussing bouquets. Deciding it tasted like red wine, I swallowed.   
  
“How was your day, what did you get up to?” I asked, releasing his right hand to adjust the linen napkin on my lap.  
  
“Honestly, pretty quiet. I met with Sam to discuss the repairs for the schoolhouse, and helped him put together the crib in the nursery.”  
  
“How is Emily feeling? I need to call her, it’s been awhile.”  
  
“She’s doing good - about ready to pop. It’s crazy that an entire baby is going to - ya know, uh, arrive.” His eyes grew wide on that last part, and he took another large gulp of the wine. Our waitress brought dinner out, and I made another attempt at picking out the notes in the wine.  
  
“Do you ever think about kids? You know… of our own?” The epitome of class and grace, I choked on the wine. Coughing, I hid my mouth with the napkin as wine dribbled out. Luckily my dress was black. I hadn’t ever considered having children. I told Jacob as much. He frowned and promptly changed the subject.  
  
The food was incredible, and it seemed like we were both making an effort to keep the conversation light and superficial while we ate. He seemed anxious but I couldn’t figure out why. The empty dinner plates were soon replaced with a third glass of red wine.  
  
“Bella.”  
  
“Jacob,” I giggled, “Are you ready for our walk down by the water?”  
  
“Of course! I was born ready. But first, I wanted to ask you something.” He stood up from the table, and slowly lumbered over to my side, and knelt on the floor by my feet. My mouth suddenly went dry.  
  
“Jacob - what are you -”  
  
“Isabella Swan, I have loved you from the first day I saw you—” I felt an intense heat start in my chest, and my heart was beating so hard it was painful. Jacob was still talking, but I couldn’t hear the words he was saying over the ocean rushing in my ears.  
  
“— marry me?”  
The night now made sense - impromptu date night, a dress and button down shirt, candles at dinner and white linen tablecloths. Jacob on one knee on the floor of a restaurant, holding a black velvet box displaying a ring. I used one shaking hand to wrap around his steady one that rested on his knee, and the other to gently close the ring box. The smile I loved so much disappeared, morphing into a grimace. He snatched his hand back from mine.

  
“Can we go somewhere privately and talk about this?” I whispered.  
  
“What is there to talk about - I think I understand pretty clearly.” Jacob stood, shoving the box into his pocket. He glared down at me, his body starting to shake.  
  
“Please - let’s talk about this, can we go?”  
He pulled out his wallet and threw a pile of cash onto the table.  
  
“I don’t know who is more stupid here - me, or you.” He spat. In one swift movement, he drained the remainder of his wine, and walked out of the restaurant. The waitress slowly approached me, and I realized we had garnered a captive audience with our scene. I apologized and stood, trying to maintain any semblance of composure, walking out.

The temperature outside had dropped considerably. I scanned the parking lot for any sign of Jacob or his car, finding none. I dug through my purse for my phone, and was quickly disappointed with the lack of notifications. I dialed Jacob, and it went straight to voicemail. Stifling a scream, I threw the phone back into my bag. I started walking towards the harbor - I didn’t think I was ready to drive with the combination of emotions and alcohol.  
I found the narrow walking trail near the back of the restaurant. It wasn’t particularly well lit, the light from street lamps and neighboring restaurants filtered out by the trees lining the path. Taking measured steps to prevent myself from stumbling, I cursed my choice to wear heels. I couldn’t believe Jacob proposed - we had never discussed marriage, children, or the future. _Who is more stupid here - me or you?_ What had I missed? My eyes started burning, so I stopped walking and squeezed them shut as hard as I could. Little splashes of light danced across the dark of my eyelids. I opened them and kept walking.  
The air grew marginally cooler as I exited the walking trail, and I stepped onto the dock. My heels clicked on the wood, and I checked my phone for any contact from Jacob. Nothing. Reaching the edge of an empty dock, I looked around. Finding myself alone, I sat down and unbuckled my shoes. I dipped my feet into the dark water as I looked out on the water. The horizon was empty, the boats safely tucked away for the night. The cold water was sharp and my breath caught. I slowly exhaled, kicking my feet under the water to adjust them to the temperature. Where had Jacob gone? To his hotel?  
I laid back and looked up at the sky but I couldn’t really make out any stars. I thought things between us had been good - as easy as breathing, like walking into the sunshine, but this seemed to come out of nowhere. Rewinding the last few months over and over again, I struggled to identify any tipping point or defining moment where things became more serious or where I could have misinterpreted anything. Was there a switch that flipped things from easy-going to spending our lives together? Or was it more like an unattended campfire that grew in intensity, burning slowly but surely, decimating the surrounding forest?  
I doubted I would find the answer before I succumbed to hypothermia. Sitting up, I looked at my shoes. There was no way they would be going back on my feet. A barefoot walk back to my car wasn’t particularly appealing, but that was the only option left. Slowly I made my way back to the restaurant, my phone remaining silent.


	3. On The Run

I woke up to my phone vibrating somewhere on my bed. Without opening my eyes or sitting up, I felt around the bed. It wasn't within reach. I gave up on sleep, opening my eyes. The sunlight filtered through the white gauzy curtains, which I had installed in an attempt to create a more peaceful and adult bedroom. The phone vibrated again, and I found it underneath the sheets by my feet. I unlocked the device to see two missed calls from Jacob, and one text — " _I'm coming over_ ", which had been sent two minutes ago.

I knew I had about fifteen minutes if he came by car, which I assumed he would. The pack had mostly stopped phasing these days, with Jacob as one of the few hold-outs. While the primary threat calling for a pack had passed, there was always the potential for nomadic visitors. I picked up the bra I threw on the floor last night, and pulled a random shirt from my closet. Top covered, I now needed pants. I ran to the laundry room to pull a pair of leggings out of the dryer. I anticipated I had another five minutes before Jacob arrived. I felt the same heat from last night start to burn inside of my chest, and my heart started beating harder. _Stay calm, stay calm, breathe,_ I reminded myself. I stood in the doorframe of the laundry room, willing my heart to slow down, struggling to catch my breath. Slowly it passed. I heard a car door slam.

I needed to be outside. I wanted clean air and daylight to cast out the shadows that were looming over us. I wasn't sure how this conversation would go — or even how I wanted it to go. I just knew I couldn't be inside. I slowly walked to the door as he knocked. I opened it slowly and looked up at Jacob.

"We need to talk," He mumbled, eyebrows furrowed. He lifted his hand to push open the door, but I closed it in his face. Grabbing a pair of shoes, I slipped them on and stepped outside.

"Where did you go last night? I looked for you outside, but you had already left."

"It doesn't matter." He spoke down at his shoes, refusing to make eye contact. It doesn't matter?

"Well. It matters to me."

"I can't do this with you anymore."

"What are you talking about? Jacob, things have been great. Or - I thought things were great. I just - what the fuck is happening? Last night, I just wasn't expecting that, and I'm so sorry, I panicked…I love you. Please, can we just talk about this." My voice sounded shaky and I hated it.

"Bella, I can't anymore. I love you, but you clearly aren't committed to this - to me." He sighed, finally looking at me.

"I am committed - I'm here, I've stayed here - for you!"

"No, you didn't."

"Stop being vague - I don't even know what you mean, of course I'm here for you."

"I want to believe you, but I don't anymore. I've waited and waited for you, Bells…When we were in high school. When he left you. When _you_ left _me_. When Charlie died." His voice grew soft at the end. My eyes pricked and burned, and I could feel the tears fall down my face.

"And still - I'm here. I'm here! With you —"

"No. Not all of you," he turned away, "I'm not the only one who sees it, Bells."

"So this is about what someone else has said, then?" I made a poor attempt to wipe some of my tears. He still hadn't turned around. I placed my hand on his shoulder, and I sighed with relief when he didn't shrug it off.

"Do you know how long we've been together? Off the top of your head?"

I tried to mentally do the math, but I wasn't fast enough.

"Eleven months. That's not counting any other time we've spent together. Eleven months of you holding me at an arm's length away. Eleven months of me trying to get into something other than surface level Bella. I've waited. I've put you back together so many times… But maybe I missed a piece of you somewhere. I want more. I've always wanted it all for us. The white picket fence, the kids, minivans and soccer games…" He trailed off, turning to face me.

I managed a weak smile, and he used his thumb to wipe a tear from my face. I wasn't sure of what to say. "Jake…"

"Bells. I'm sorry I walked away from you last night. But I'm not sorry that I proposed," he pulled me into his arms and squeezed, "I can't wait anymore. I've loved you since the minute I saw you. But I can't be alone, with you, anymore. I'm sorry it happened this way, but now I know."

He released me and stepped back. I searched his face, which was surprisingly neutral. I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. Jacob shook his head a little bit, and walked to his car, gravel crunching under his feet. As he drove away, I stood on the porch. The cold air slowly settled into my body, and an overwhelming, yet familiar, crushing sensation started taking over.

I made my way back inside and sank into the couch. So that was it. No more Jacob. No more Charlie. No more Edward. What had I done, that every man I ever loved had left me? Or even worse - how I could understand why they had? To be fair, I rationalized, Charlie wasn't given much of a choice. I suppose no one has much of a choice when faced with death. Edward's decision to leave never surprised me — it confirmed my biggest fears, that I was average, unremarkable, unworthy of an extraordinary love that could transcend time. Perhaps my relationship with Jacob shared similar qualities to the one I shared with Edward. An average unremarkable girl, who couldn't compete with the supernatural potential for a gravity shifting, all consuming love. I realized I wasn't part of the campfire, but instead, I was in the decimated forest, burning to the ground where I sat, paralyzed.

I woke with a start - I had fallen asleep on the couch. Based on the shadows coming in through the living room windows, I guessed it was somewhere in the early evening. I didn't remember falling asleep, but the memories from this morning were all too clear. The wire of my bra was digging into my ribs. With a sigh, I unclasped it from under my shirt, removing it. I rested my face into my hands, rubbing my eyes. I needed a new plan.

I figured dinner would be a good start. I ambled into the kitchen in search of quick, easy food. I settled on frozen microwaveable pasta. I decided pretty quickly I wanted to leave Forks. But where would I go? I didn't necessarily _want_ to go anywhere, but I needed to be done with this town, it's supernatural beings, and every constant little reminder of what I screwed up. I knew exactly who I needed to call.

The line rang as I stirred the pasta.

"Hello?" Instant comfort.

My voice cracked. "Hi mom,"

"Bella! What's wrong baby?"

The dam of everything broke - I was in hysterics. As I calmed down and explained what had happened with Jacob, Renee offered sympathetic platitudes. I told her I was done with Forks and wanted to leave. She booked herself the first available flight to Washington while we were on the phone, and we hung up.

Renee would be here tomorrow evening. While growing up, it seemed that our relationship had been backwards. I took on the role of caretaker, preparing meals, balancing checkbooks, and making sure we both had clean underwear. I chuckled at the fact that I was no longer the mother, but the child crying in the night who was scared of the monsters underneath her bed.

Well, maybe not so scared of the monster underneath the bed, but more so of the closet stuffed with the skeletal remains of failed romance. I finished the microwave pasta, and headed up to my bed. I brought a glass of water with me, and two (okay, three) Benadryl. I just needed to make it until tomorrow night.

" _Edward? Edward!" I was lost in the forest._

_"Bella, I don't want you to come with me." His voice echoed through the trees, "You're not good for me. I won't come back." I was running, searching. I tripped and fell onto the damp ground. I tried to get up, but my foot was tangled in a branch. I pulled at it, trying to untangle the branch from my foot, but the thorns on the branch bit into my fingers._

_"Don't do this! Please!"_

_"I don't know who is more stupid here - you or me!" His velvet voice became distorted, and I couldn't tell where it was coming from._

_"Edward? Please, don't go!" I kept pulling at the branch, which had now morphed into hundreds of rose vines, my hands slipping, slick with blood. The roses on the vine were black and wilting._

_"I'm tired of pretending, I won't come back. It will be as if I never existed." I heard him whisper right behind me. I dropped the vines, and looked over my shoulder. A thick smoke permeated the air, and I started coughing. Through the smoke, I could see a steady blaze - the flames licking across the trees. I could feel the heat getting progressively closer, burning my skin._

I woke up drenched in sweat. The forest nightmares had occurred less frequently over the last five years, but fire was new. I looked at my alarm clock - 3:36 PM. Renee's plane would land at 5, and she told me that she was renting a car to make the drive from Port Angeles. I figured I would see her at about 6:30, if everything went smoothly. First order of business - a shower. I took my time, hoping the heat of the steam and water could melt away some of the cold that sank beyond my skin. I took my time, exfoliating, shaving, and deep conditioning my hair - anything I could do to soak up more time.

I considered putting on make-up after the shower, but that would also mean removing it later. While _someone_ used to enjoy playing "Bella Barbie", it was my second college roommate who taught me how to utilize make-up in a way that was approachable. I giggled at the memory of sitting on the floor in front of an over-the-door mirror, playing with eyeshadows and lipsticks with Kristen, perfecting our smoky-eye and red-lip techniques while ranting about assignments. We lost touch the following year. I moisturized, and put on a new t-shirt and pair of leggings from the dryer.

5:15 PM. I figured Renee would be hungry after her day of traveling, so I went into the kitchen and started dinner. I opted for homemade lasagna, which would occupy me until she arrived. I turned on sports television to keep me company in the background. Honestly, I still didn't really understand sports in general, but it reminded me of Charlie.

Before I got a chance to sit down, Renee knocked at the door. I ran to open it, embracing my mother in a tight hug. "Mom. I'm so glad you're here." She came in, and I ushered her into the kitchen for dinner. "How was the flight, and the drive?"

She regaled me with over-dramatized tales of her journey. The polite TSA agent, the flight attendant going through a custody battle, and the rental car that smelt like wet dogs. She helped me put away the leftover food and wash the dishes before we settled onto the couch.

"So, Bella. You want to leave Forks? Are you sure?" She asked, grabbing my hand.

"Yeah mom. I'm tired. Everything here just brings up too many memories."

She squeezed my hand. "Well, let's get you out of here. Where do you want to go?"

"Mom, I honestly couldn't tell you." I sighed.

"It's okay, you don't have to have everything all figured out. But let's start with the house. Do you want to hang on to it, or sell it? Not sure?"

I hadn't thought about selling the house. I contemplated this for a minute. The house was all I had left of Charlie. But I didn't necessarily feel him here - the house felt empty. "Yes, let's sell it."

We made plans to pack up anything valuable or sentimental in the house, and put it in storage until I was ready to deal with it. At the end of the week, we would both return to Jacksonville.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who is reading! This is a big step for Bella in so many ways. What do you think about everything that happened?


	4. Time To Go

Renee had been awake before me, and went to the store for essentials. Boxes, tape, permanent markers, and breakfast. The paper cup of coffee she handed me radiated the perfect level of heat. 

“I called a real estate agent while you were sleeping, I hope that’s okay. She said she could stop by this afternoon if that works?”

I nodded in response, taking a pull of the coffee into my mouth. When Charlie had died, he left the house in my name. He had also arranged multiple life insurance policies where I had been listed as the primary beneficiary. Renee and I had both been overwhelmed at the time, and brought in a lawyer to handle the paperwork and details. While I had been surprised at the amount of planning Charlie had done, my mother was not at all surprised. She let me know that when they were first married with a baby on the way, he had been very concerned about the nature of his job and the possibility of leaving behind a widow with children and no way to provide for them. 

I didn’t like the idea that I had received a paycheck for the death of my father. At the time, Renee had tried to reason with me and reframe my thinking - it wasn’t “getting paid to bury dad”, it was a way that Charlie showed love. “Taking care of the people he loved, without any fuss,” she had said. I’ve had six months to get used to the idea, though it still made me uncomfortable. She kept the lawyer on to manage the funds. I wondered if they could deal with the house too — they certainly charged enough. 

“Hey mom, do you think we can call the lawyer too? Can they deal with the uh, selling stuff?”

She nodded, handing me a donut, “I will give the office a call when they open in a little bit.” 

I was impressed by the way Renee had handled some of the finer details of her ex-husband’s death. I took a minute to look at her - a slightly older version of me, with the same deep brown eyes, and short reddish brown hair with blond highlights that she had tucked behind her ears. She stood, grabbing a box, heading into the kitchen. I smiled to myself when I thought about how she had changed too. My coffee had gone cold, so I followed her into the kitchen to reheat it. We decided that she would start in the kitchen, and I would start in my room. 

Going through my room was surprisingly easy. When I left for college, I had significantly pared-down my room at Charlie’s. When I came back, I only brought clothes. I sorted through my clothes, packing most of them but leaving enough outfits for the week. Satisfied with my room, I crossed the hall and stood in front of Charlie’s closed door. I moved my hand to the door knob - a round brass bulb, cold to the touch. A chill ran down my back, and I pushed the door open. The air in the room was thick and stale. I crossed the room to open his window, the wooden floor creaking under each step. I tied the black curtains into a knot and slid the window up. The room was pretty bare — only a dresser, bare bed, and two nightstands remained. I walked to the closet and opened the door. I pulled out the two shirts that were still hanging, laying them on the bed. Jacob had helped me clean out Charlie’s room a few months ago, donating clothes and sorting through a handful of documents in the nightstand. 

I removed the hangers and folded the shirts — I would pack them with the rest of my clothes. The doorbell rang, and I pulled my phone out to check the time. I assumed our visitor was the realtor. I took my time heading down the stairs, knowing that Renee would let her in. By the time I made it down, the conversation was in full swing. I smiled when Renee introduced me to Lynn, who was taller than me with that perfect realtor smile. I informed Lynn that I wanted to sell quickly, and that the transaction would need to be remote as I was leaving Forks by the end of the week. She asked boring realtor questions, which I suppose would be interesting if I had the emotional capacity for it. I wanted to be ashamed that I was selling the house without a second thought, but I felt confident about my decision. The decision making process had always been agonizing for me, but once I decided things generally worked out. I realized I had completely tuned out the rest of the conversation when Lynn made her way to the door, promising to be in touch and handing Renee her card. 

The next few days passed quickly - coffee, packing, lunch, marking items for donation, dinner — lather, rinse, repeat. It was finally Friday and finally time to leave, trading the forest for the beach. Bags were packed in the car, keys handed off to Lynn, the special items in storage, and pick up scheduled to donate the furniture. I stood at the car, and looked up at the house. An empty shell with the trees looming behind it. Renee slammed the trunk shut, and it startled me.

“Are you ready?” 

“Definitely,” I settled into the passenger seat, and ignored how the house seemed to disappear in the rearview mirror as we headed towards the airport. 

“I figured we could grab lunch at the airport - not the best food, but it’s probably the easiest and I don’t want to miss the flight.”

“Yeah, I’m fine with that honestly.” 

“So - I wanted to talk to you about something…” she paused, which was never good, “You’ve been so. Withdrawn. This week. I’m worried about you. I know break-ups are hard, but Bella, Jesus. I can’t see you go through this again.” Her forehead wrinkled, and she reached over with one hand to hold mine, the other hand holding the steering wheel, knuckles white. I looked out the window. I thought about jumping out of the car to get away from this conversation, but it quickly passed. I sighed.

“Mom…” I trailed off. 

She took this as an opportunity to continue. “When we get home, I want you to see somebody. A therapist. I can handle just about everything else, but I just want you to be okay. Like really okay, better than okay.”

“Okay.” I sighed. The rest of the drive passed silently, with Renee frowning and focusing on the road as I stared out my window.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short, but necessary! I think agreeing to help is a positive, though reluctant, step for Bella.


	5. Blaze in the Dark

The Florida sunshine was blinding. I borrowed Renee’s car for my first therapy appointment. I grimaced at the thought. I had been “home” with Renee for about a week and a half. My car was slowly making its way across the states via a shipping company - another detail that Renee had taken care of. I parked at the medical building, stepping out into the sun. I checked my watch - I still had about 15 minutes to kill. Most of the last week and a half had been spent hiding in my room from more concerned conversation and the ever-present public displays of affection between Renee and Phil, who still acted like horny teenagers even after all these years. I also spent time searching the internet for my next academic adventure. My degree didn’t offer many great career options - I didn’t obtain a teaching certificate, but the thought of teaching wasn’t appealing regardless. Quite frankly, nothing I found was appealing.   
  


I approached the building, which was largely made of glass paneling that reflected the sun, making hundreds of tiny rainbow prisms. I couldn’t bring myself to go inside yet, so I sat on a concrete bench outside of the sliding doors that were, of course, also made of glass. I stifled the urge to throw a rock at the glass door and checked my phone, which had remained silent since that morning Jacob and I broke up.   
  


While I sat, a man came out of the doors and stood about a foot away. I did a double take - he was tall, had reddish bronze hair… Blue eyes. I stared on as he pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his back pocket. He pulled one out and replaced the pack back into his jeans, his hand returning with a lighter. He must have felt me staring, and he glanced at   
me with a smile — not the crooked smile I expected, but a perfectly straight and charming smile. “Did you want one?”  
  


I could feel my face heat up rapidly, and I looked into his baby blue eyes. “Yeah, that’d be great.”  
  


I wasn’t sure what had possessed me to take him up on the offer, but he smiled and handed me the lit cigarette straight from his mouth. _Not him, not him,_ my mind raced. My hand was surprisingly steady as I lifted the cigarette to my mouth, and inhaled. I mumbled a quick thanks. I had never smoked a cigarette before, but I had definitely experimented with other, uh, smokable substances in college. I assumed it couldn’t be that different. I tried holding in the smoke, which burned harshly in my mouth. I coughed.  
  


“You don’t smoke, do you?” He chuckled.   
  


Coughing, “No, not really. Sorry— ” _Idiot idiot idiot,_ “I’m just uh, nervous, for my appointment.” I tried again, taking a drag.   
  


“Ah, completely understandable. Doctor’s appointments are never fun. I’m not a big fan myself, which is why I’m out here.” He ran his free hand through his hair.   
  


“Oh.” I exhaled and felt a tingle form in my body.  
  


“Yeah.”  
  


He stopped making eye contact, and looked towards the parking lot. We silently focused on the task at hand. He finished, and leaned over the ash-tray that sat on top of the trash bin by the doors, snuffing out the small light left on the end of the cigarette. I had half of mine left.   
  


“Well, I hope your appointment goes well.” He offered a small wave, and headed back inside. I checked the time on my phone - five minutes left. With one last drag, I imitated his actions of putting out the cigarette, and headed inside, enjoying my small buzz.   
  


I checked the directory, and took the elevator up to the second floor. The office was nice, painted in a pale grey with several sofa chairs throughout the waiting room. I checked in with the receptionist, and settled into one of the chairs to wait. My thoughts wandered to the man I had met outside. That hair. I longed for someone else with that hair. I wiped my hands on my jeans - they felt grimy. I felt that familiar heat start in my chest, accompanied by a heavy heart beat.   
  


“Isabella Swan?” A woman, who I assumed was the therapist, called my name while standing in the doorframe that led back into the office.   
  


Finally my turn. I stood up to follow the therapist back, but felt lightheaded. I paused to get my bearings, taking three deep breaths. My heart calmed down into a reasonable rhythm. Refocusing, I followed her. She led me into a small office that was decorated in a similar fashion to the lobby. Pale grey walls, featuring hanging degrees and certifications, a large hanging clock with Roman numerals, and several plush chairs. There was also a large desk, but the therapist instead selected one of the sofa chairs, sitting and crossing her legs. She waved her hand towards one of the other chairs, “So, do you prefer to go by Isabella, or do you have a nickname?”  
  


I sat down in the chair furthest away from her. “Actually, I prefer Bella.”  
  


“Bella, perfect. Do you mind if I record the session? I don’t like taking notes, because I would rather just talk to you, if that’s okay?” She smiled.  
  


I consented to her audio recording of the session. We made what I felt like was small talk, until she hit me with _the_ question.  
  


“Tell me what you’d like to work on with our time here?”  
  


Well fuck if I knew. I looked up at the clock, and watched the second hand tick. I formed several sarcastic replies in my mind - Oh, I don’t know, _my vampire soulmate decided he was sick of me and dumped me before evaporating out of my life?_ Or, how about, _my vampire slayer werewolf boyfriend dumped me because I have a crippling fear of commitment and didn’t want to be a soccer mom?_ Or the bottom line, _I don’t even know why I’m still alive or what to do with that, part of me doesn’t even care, and it’s scaring my mom?_ In short, nothing that would keep me free to walk around and everything that would land me in a mental ward.   
  


“I have relationship issues.” I offered, with a shrug.   
  


She nodded, and asked for more detail. So I told her - as much as I could, leaving out the supernatural details. She focused on my first relationship - who could blame her? I focused on him more than I’d ever admit.  
  


“Why do you think your relationship with Edward didn’t work out?”  
  


I wrinkled my eyebrows, trying to think of what to say. “I am too ordinary… he was smart, worldy, gorgeous, and — I don’t measure up — how could I even…” My voice caught in my throat, and I felt tears simmer in my eyes. I squeezed them shut in an attempt to keep the tears at bay.  
  


“Why do you say that?”  
  


“Because I just couldn’t!” The tears were falling. She handed me a box of tissues. I hadn’t meant to shout. I knew why, but I couldn’t really explain the insignificance of my humanity when compared to an eternity of possibility. 

  
“Okay. It’s okay - let’s take a moment. I want you to take three deep breaths with me, in and out.” She modeled deep breathing and I followed suit. “Bella, how have you been sleeping?”  
  


“Poorly.”  
  


“Alright, you also mentioned spending a lot of time in your room, can you elaborate?”  
  


So I elaborated, even though it didn’t feel like there was much to tell. I mentioned looking at colleges, but that I wasn’t sure where I should or could go next in my life.   
  


“Bella - we are about out of time for today’s session, but I would like to see you again next week.” She offered a smile. “I think you may also benefit from seeing a psychiatrist. Based on what you have told me here today, it sounds like you are suffering from depression - which is treatable, however, a psychiatrist will be able to provide a diagnosis and medication if necessary. My office can provide a referral for you.”  
  


I nodded, not knowing what to say. She walked me out of the office to the receptionist, who scheduled an appointment for next week, and informed me that they would make a referral. The psychiatrist would call me to set up another appointment. I left the office, stumbling into the sunshine. It felt wrong. I missed the rain, and the trees.   
  


“Hey!” 

  
My head whipped around, and my eyes landed on bronze-hair-blue-eyes from earlier. I quickly wiped under my eyes, hoping that my make-up hadn’t gone too awry. He ran to catch up to me in the parking lot.  
  


“Woah, are you okay?”  
  


“Yeah, I’m fine. Just, uh, a long appointment I guess.”   
  


His charming smile slowly took over his face, “I definitely understand. I hope this isn’t too forward, but I had a long appointment too. Would you like to get lunch? Or maybe a midday drink?”  
  


It was a little forward, but I definitely didn’t want to face Renee before I gathered my thoughts, “A midday drink-lunch sounds nice, where to?” 

He gave a few options, all of them nearby. We picked the closest one, and I would follow him in my own car. It was a brief five minute drive. We parked, and I followed him into the gastropub. It wasn’t very busy inside - a handful of people were sitting at small glass tables. It was dimly lit inside, and had an industrial feel. He walked over to the bar and sat on a stool, scooting out a second stool for me. I ordered the first overpriced cocktail I saw on the menu, and he ordered a beer.   
  


“So…you also had a long appointment. Do you want to go first, or should I? Or better yet, I’m Sawyer. You are?”  
  


“Bella.” The bartender set down our drinks. “It’s nice to meet you.” I took a sip of my cocktail - it had one sad looking red rose petal floating in the glass, and tasted like gin and springtime. “You can go first.” I suggested.  
  


“Sure. I see a shrink for my daddy issues.” He said with a straight face, and slowly lifted his pitcher of beer to his mouth. I felt my eyes go wide and tried to correct it, but definitely failed. Sawyer started laughing. “It’s fine, I was going for a laugh.”  
  


“Oh.” I felt the blush slowly creep up my neck, and a nervous giggle erupted from my mouth.  
  


“Yeah. I mean I do see a therapist, and we do talk about my dad. I don’t know that I would say ‘daddy issues’, because I think that has a different implication. But yeah, that was my long appointment.”  
  


He told me about his dysfunctional relationship with both of his parents - his father, who cheated repeatedly on his mother, a bitter divorce and custody battle when he was 12, his mother, who blamed Sawyer for the cheating, and finally, the panic attacks that caused him to drop out of college when he started failing his classes. I was surprised at his candor — I mean, we were complete strangers. I asked him about this, and he told me that self-disclosure helped to build relationships, and the fact that we were complete strangers made it easy to share these things — there were no expectations, and if we wanted, that we never had to see each other after this, so it didn’t matter. With that said, he ordered a second round of drinks for us.   
  


“So Bella, if you’d like, how was your long appointment? Or we could talk about something different.” 

  
I contemplated for a minute - I had spent a solid 50 minutes earlier talking about the past, and I didn’t feel like doing that part again. But it would be nice to talk to someone that wasn’t Renee about what had happened at the end. The second round of drinks arrived, and I plucked out that defeated little rose petal, tossing it onto a napkin. Self-disclosure, right? “I had my first therapy appointment today. She told me she thought I was depressed, and referred me to a psychiatrist for medicine.” I frowned, and picked up my glass.  
  


“The medicine can help, I take meds for my anxiety.” There was no trace of pity in his voice, and he was very matter-of-fact about it. I found this refreshing.  
  


“It helped you?”  
  


“Yeah, tremendously actually - it doesn’t make life perfect, but I feel like I can control my life more since I started taking it.”  
  


“I’m concerned about telling my mother. She has a tendency to overreact and get way too involved.” 

The thought of talking to Renee about this made my blood run cold, and I felt my hands start to shake. The lack of control over these physical reactions was really getting old.   
  


“You don’t have to tell her you know. You’re a grown adult, your health is your business.”  
  


I scoffed. “She’s going to ask. Should I lie?”  
  


“I mean, you don’t have to lie. You can tell her if you want. Do you plan to keep going to therapy? Are you going to see the psychiatrist?”

“I don’t want to know what’ll happen if I don’t. I think it’s the best option.”   
  


“I think that’s great, but you know sometimes part of taking care of yourself means you don’t have to share what you don’t want to.”   
  


“I hadn’t thought of it like that. But that’s fair. I like that. It’s not like she could do anything about it anyway, so why worry her?”  
  


“On the other hand, it’s nice to have some support. Just playing devil’s advocate. Your mom just sounds like she cares.”  
  


“She does. But she can’t fix me, or my problems.” I wiped the condensation off of my glass with a napkin, frowning.  
  


“No one can do that but you, Bella,” he raised his eyebrow at me.   
  


A comfortable silence settled over us as we finished our drinks. The bartender asked if we needed anything else, and Sawyer asked for the check. He pulled out his wallet, and I reached for my purse to grab my debit card. He laughed, “No you don’t.”  
  


“What?”  
  


“Post head-shrinking drinks are on me today. Maybe you can grab them next time.” He tapped my arm.   
  


With a small smile, I excused myself to the bathroom while he paid. I checked my reflection while washing my hands. My eyes were no longer red from the crying jag during my appointment, but there were mascara smudges under both eyes. I wet a paper towel, and wiped the smudges off. I dried my hands and ran my fingers through my hair before exiting the bathroom. I didn't see Sawyer anywhere, so I checked outside. He was standing off to the side of the doors, smoking.  
  


“Did you want one?” 

  
“Yeah, actually.”

  
He lit another cigarette and passed it to me. I knew Renee would lose her shit if she saw me right now.

  
“Smoking kills, you know.” I coughed out with a chuckle.

  
He shrugged with a smile, and replied, “Well, we all gotta go sometime.”

  
After we finished, we exchanged phone numbers and went our separate ways. The drive home was blissfully short. Renee was in the kitchen when I walked in, preparing dinner.  
  


“Hey mom.”

  
“Bella! Baby, how was your appointment? What did they say? Were they nice? What did you think?” Renee came out of the kitchen, holding a spatula covered in a red sauce. Her rapid fire questions made my head spin. I remembered what Sawyer had said.

  
“It went well, I think. I’m actually pretty tired — I’m going to nap before dinner. Will you wake me up in a bit?”

  
Her face fell, “Oh, of course! Go, get some rest. I’ll wake you up for dinner.”

  
“Thanks mom.”

  
I walked into my bedroom, and shut the door behind me. I stripped off my blouse and slacks, and changed into leggings and a tee shirt. I laid on the bed, and closed my eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Our first therapy appointment and a handsome new friend... Where do you think this will go?


	6. Late Nights

The next two weeks passed in a blur. I met with my therapist twice, and Sawyer and I had one more "post head-shrinking" happy hour. I don't think he was seeing his therapist quite as often as I did. I took his advice for handling Renee on a permanent basis, and I could tell that the lack of details was driving her mad. I wanted to be honest but I couldn't think of a way to do so without creating additional panic on her end, so I kept the details to myself.

I was sitting on my bed. Earlier I had opened up my window to let some fresh air in and forgot to shut it. I watched as the light faded slowly, indicating nightfall. With a sigh, I reached over the side of the bed to pick up my purse. I pulled out the white pharmacy bag that contained the small orange bottle filled with my prescription. I used the edge of my nail to pull up the label that was stuck to the bottle. The label came up halfway before separating, leaving half of it on the bottle and the other half in my hand. Seriously? I rolled the tiny label half between my two fingers, creating a tiny ball of paper that I flicked onto the floor. The bit of label left on the bottle did not identify the contents, which was all I had really wanted.

I had gone to my first psychiatry appointment that morning, and it took longer than I expected. It felt less like therapy, and more like a regular doctor's appointment. We covered my medical history and talked. I was proud of myself for remembering to mention the instances of my heart feeling like it would explode from my chest, which he suggested could be anxiety related. At the end, the psychiatrist confirmed my therapist's suspicions, and provided a nifty little low-dose antidepressant. I also kept this from Renee - after all, I was taking care of it, wasn't I?

I opened the bottle, and put one of the pills in my mouth, swallowing dry. Someone knocked at the door, and I quickly tucked the pill bottle under my pillow. "Come in." The door cracked open, and Phil poked his head in.

"Hey Bella, I brought home a pizza. Do you want to come eat with us? Or I could bring you some?"

Phil had been very sweet since I had arrived, but when I thought about it, he had always been very sweet to me. We hadn't spent a lot of time together before he married Renee, and I had moved to Forks when he moved in. While I was in college, he really seemed to enjoy it when I visited over long weekends and holiday breaks.

I wasn't very hungry, but I knew it would make both Phil and Renee happy if I joined them. "I'll be out in a minute."

He smiled and shut the door. I pulled the pill bottle out from under the pillow and replaced it in my purse. I slipped into the bathroom to splash some water on my face before joining Phil and Renee for dinner. I opted for cold water, hoping it would reduce any lingering puffiness from crying in my car on the way back from the appointment. I straightened my shirt, and ran a brush through my hair. Satisfied, I walked to the living room.

Renee and Phil were both sitting on the couch eating, the box of pizza and breadsticks sitting on the coffee table, the television playing. Renee's face lit up when I walked in.

"I'm so glad you came out! Sit down, let me get you a drink. What do you want?" She stood up.

"Milk, if we have any? If not, water is fine. Thanks mom."

I grabbed a napkin and a piece of cheese pizza. It was still hot and the cheese stretched as I pulled it out of the box and onto the napkin. I settled into the recliner by the couch. "What are we watching?"

Phil responded with a mouth full of breadstick. "I somehow convinced Nae to let me pick The Fast and the Furious!"

Renee walked back in, and handed me a glass of milk before she sat down. "Yes, I figured I had to let you pick the movie every once in a while, since you let me pick all the time." She leaned over and kissed Phil's cheek.

I would be lying if I said I didn't enjoy watching the movie with them. We polished off the entire box of pizza and all of the breadsticks. When the movie ended, Phil announced he was ready for bed. I offered to clean up the pizza boxes, and they went to their room. I brought the empty boxes and cups into the kitchen. I checked the time - 10:38 PM. I felt wide awake. I grabbed a mug, and microwaved some water. Tea sounded nice, and maybe it would relax me enough for bed. I stopped the microwave before the timer went off, and added a tea-bag. While I waited for the tea to steep, I washed the cups from dinner and put them on the drying rack, and when I finished, brought the tea back to my room.

I powered up my laptop, and spent some more time looking for my next academic adventure. I suppose I could have also looked for jobs, which may be the smarter option, especially since we were paying out of pocket for all of my medical appointments. But I didn't want to work at a grocery store or at the mall, which may not offer insurance anyway, so back to school it was. I tried various search terms, and ended up on a webpage discussing academic research, which sounded remotely interesting. I dove a little deeper, and ended up with about fifteen tabs open. I filtered through, looking at program course listings, and quickly vetoed the idea of research. I ended up looking at five different master's programs specializing in English, scattered across the country. I took a sip of tea, and decided to apply to all of them.

Excited to have somewhere to direct my energy, I powered away and submitted each application. I finished my tea, and snuck back into the kitchen to make another cup. I still wasn't tired. When I walked back into my room, I checked my phone. 3:02 AM. I had one notification — a text from Sawyer.

" _I hope your appt went well :)_ "

It was sent at 1:45AM. It was late, but the tea wasn't settling me, so I replied.

" _It was an appt. Been a night"_

I didn't expect a response, and was surprised when I heard the phone vibrate.

" _You're up late. Need to talk?_

" _If you aren't tired?"_

" _Sure - give me five"_

I plugged my phone into the charger. I looked over at my window, which was still open. I walked over, pulling back the curtains. The window looked out onto the quiet residential street, and there was a small breeze. The streetlamps provided enough light to make out the different houses - a neat little row of perfectly manicured green lawns, trash bins out for collection the next morning, and cars parked safely in their driveways. I longed for the large trees in Forks that seemed to transcend time. I heard my phone vibrating on the charger. Leaving the window open, I sat on the bed to answer.

"Hello?" I whispered. I was sure that Renee and Phil were asleep.

"Hey, late nights with Bella! Why aren't you asleep?" Sawyer definitely wasn't whispering.

"It's the weirdest thing," I laughed. "I'm seriously wide awake. I've had two cups of tea!"

"Tea can't compete with the allure of the night!"

"I don't know if I'd call it alluring, but sure. Why are you still up?"  
  
"I was asleep, but I always keep my phone notifications on, just in case."

I felt a little guilty for waking him up, but not guilty enough to end the call. "Oh, I'm sorry. It's nothing crazy. Just a bout of insomnia."

"Did your appointment go okay?"

"It was more… Medical? Than I had anticipated. But I guess it went well. I'm so tired. But also, not really."

"Is your tea caffeine free?" He chuckled.

"A little credit please - of course it is." I stuck my tongue out at the phone. He couldn't see me, but it made me feel better.

"Did they give you a prescription?"

"Yeah."

"Did you start taking it?"

"Yes, dad. I'm capable of following medical advice, you know?" I felt myself getting defensive, but wasn't sure why.

Another laugh. "I was only asking, because I've had medication cause temporary sleep issues. So if you started taking it, that might be why you're wide awake and tired."

Well I felt stupid. Why did I feel the need to get so worked up over something so small? I sighed into the phone.

"Hey - no worries. Did you do anything fun today? Besides your appointment?"

"I had dinner with my mom and step-dad, we watched a movie. What about you?"

"Not really. I went to work and came home. Did some laundry. What movie did you watch?"

I smiled at the thought of Sawyer doing laundry. "Laundry? How domestic. We watched The Fast and the Furious. Step-dad picked."

"Not a fan of action movies?"

"Actually - I am. You know. Adrenaline, fast paced, exciting."

"Oh yes, that's right, no romantic comedies."

There was a pause in the conversation. I remembered that, during our second post head-shrinking happy hour, I had detailed my post proposal break up. My hands started sweating, and I felt my chest heat up. I laid down to see if that would ease the heat and pressure I suddenly felt weighing me down. I needed to change the course of this conversation quickly. "I applied to some master's programs."

"Bella! That's amazing! Wow - I didn't know you were considering that!" His excitement buzzed through the phone.

"Yeah… I don't know that I'll get into any of them, but I figured applying couldn't hurt?"

"You did it though - sometimes putting yourself out there is the hardest part."

I didn't disagree. We continued to talk, mostly about easy topics. Movies, books, vacations. I didn't realize I had fallen asleep until the forest appeared.

_"I miss the beach. Maybe we could go this week?" I asked into the phone, smiling._

_"I'm tired of pretending." The voice that responded was no longer Sawyer's, but a deeper, musical, velvet tone._

_"Edward?" I pulled the phone back from my ear, confused. It turned to dust in my hand. No, no, no! I tried to stand up, but I was stuck in mud that covered the lower half of my body. "Edward! Don't, don't do this, please!"_

_"I stayed behind to tell you goodbye." His voice faded away. I frantically scanned the forest for Edward, but all I saw was a fire that was rapidly spreading through the trees. I looked down at the mud, which had turned into a pool of amber, solidifying around me._

_"Edward! Please, god, I can't." I sobbed, the fire dancing around my amber prison. I was trapped._ _I heard Sawyer's voice shout through the trees._

_"Only you can fix it."_

I woke up to a knock on my bedroom door. I had fallen asleep on my right arm, which was numb. "Just a minute!" My phone was laying by the pillow, and the call was still on. I put it up to my ear, but only heard silence. I hung it up and plugged it in. I looked over to the open window - sunlight. What time was it? Another knock. "Come in." I checked my alarm clock. 9:15 AM.

Renee walked in and sat on the bed. Before I had a change to even sit up, she started talking.

"Lynn called!" Lynn? I wrinkled my nose, trying to place the name. "You know, the realtor. Someone put an offer on Charlie's house!"

I wasn't expecting an offer on the house to happen so soon. "Oh, wow. Do you know what we need to do now?"

"Yes - if you're okay with the offer, she can overnight you the documents to sign. We'll have to get them signed in front of a notary, and then we can overnight them back to her." She laid back, resting her head by mine.

"That sounds easy enough, what was the offer?"

Renee handed me a post-it note with the offer written down. It was more than I expected, and definitely more than what I thought we had listed the house for. "Is that right? Why would someone offer that much more?"

She laughed. "I asked Lynn the same thing! Apparently the market is a little more competitive than she thought. I think it's a blessing! You could use it for travel or shopping - definitely something fun! What do you think?"

Travel didn't sound like the worst idea, and if Lynn said that was fine, then I was good with it as well. "Sounds like a plan then. Have her send the stuff." Renee put her hand on mine.

"Are you alright? This is kind of a big deal." Her voice was soft, and she didn't look over at me when she spoke.

"Yeah, you know. I'm fine. It'll be good."

"Do you want to go have brunch? We could go somewhere with a patio, soak up some sunshine, walk down to the beach…"

I sighed. "I'm actually pretty tired, I might sleep a little longer. I didn't sleep well last night."

There was a small pause, and she slowly sat up. "Alright. I'll leave you to it, then. I'm always here you know…"

I smiled, "I know." She left the room and closed the door behind her. I closed my eyes and wondered who would move into Charlie's house. I imagined a small family - two parents, one child, just like my own had been when Charlie and Renee bought the house. Maybe a little girl with two cute braided pigtails. Would they take walks together on the forest trail behind the house? Would they plan picnics for the occasional sunny days? Camp in the backyard at night? I pictured the little family sitting around a dinner table, talking about each of their days. Happy. Content. I sent a silent wish to the universe that whatever child growing up there would get to live in a world that was normal and happy. I wished that no supernatural creatures would walk into that little girl's life and ruin it before she knew any better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Late nights conversations with Bella and Sawyer :) I'm glad she has someone she can talk to.  
> Thanks to everyone reading, I hope you're enjoying the story so far.


End file.
